I know dead people

It is sad when someone passes, no matter who it is. When you lose a loved one, it is hard. It doesn’t matter if it is expected due to illness, an accident, or worse, it is sad. No matter who you were, someone loves and misses you.

In the age of social media, few people keep a paper diary. We are all online sharing our feelings and thoughts. This not only gives us a release of our emotions, but it also opens the door to discussions with people who have gone through or are going through similar losses. I know in my own personal losses; it was a great tool to get things off my chest. I was also able to talk to people I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to share my story and feelings with in person.

What I question is everyone’s motive. When someone shares publicly about a loss, are they just looking to get all their “stuff” out? I find that very helpful. I also find typing those feelings out a lot easier than speaking the words. I can cry to myself while sharing and not feeling like the world is staring at me fall apart. There are so many personal feelings that I would only share with a few people in person, but I am more comfortable sharing behind the screen. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. I am sure that doing this has given people the release they needed.

I am sure that there is regret when it comes to the loss of someone you have lost touch with or haven’t been on the best terms with lately. I am sure people deal with many emotions when there is a loss in these types of relationships. I am sure there is a need to share these regrets. When someone is no longer there, the disagreements you had may seem so trivial. Just because you haven’t spoken or spoken nicely to someone in some time doesn’t mean there is not a sadness and feeling of loss.

I do question the people who seem to come out of the woodwork when someone passes. I do not think you had to be the deceased’s best friend, but just because you kind of knew them or kind of knew a relative or friend doesn’t mean you should be posting all over social media how distraught you are. I find it so disrespectful to the surviving loved ones when people do this. There are already so many emotions going on when you lose someone, you do not need this added drama. It is not a badge of honor to know someone who died.

When my brother was killed, people were posting their condolences on my Facebook page. Some were people who didn’t know my brother and barely knew me. I totally get friends of mine posting their condolences for my loss, but if you went to elementary school with me and haven’t spoken to me since, there is just no reason for you to reach out. There is no reason to share ridiculous stories that I am pretty sure never happened, just to be able to say you had a loss. There was no reason for an ex-coworker of mine who I never got along with to show up at the funeral crying her eyes out acting like she was so devastated that she could barely stand on her own two feet without hanging on someone.

At least my brother wasn’t famous. The way people get when a celebrity passes away can be so over dramatic it isn’t even funny. Betty White was an amazing actress with many wonderful achievements, and I am sure she made an impact on countless people’s lives. When she died, my Facebook page was flooded with people writing huge posts about how sad they are and how their lives will never be the same without her. Am I crazy or just uncompassionate? It sucks that she died, but she was days away from 100 years old. She lived an incredible life. She died of natural causes. It is sad, but the only change in my life from this is now the Golden Girls reruns are on practically every channel and my Facebook is filled with nonsense.

When Bob Saget died, it was just as bad on Facebook. He grew up about an hour away from where I live. Everyone online had a story about knowing his neighborhood or his school or they think they saw him here or there. For days, the local news was just interviewing people who kind of knew him. By kind of knew him, I mean there was actually a news interview with a guy who went to the same school as he did but didn’t know him. How is that news? Even though it was a nice break from the Covid stories, it still wasn’t news. It was completely unnecessary.

It seems to me that the majority of people who are sharing their feelings on social media when someone passes away, they just appear to be looking for attention. This is sad. This takes away from the people out there who are really struggling with a loss and looking for help.