No matter how many doctors are seen. No matter how politely they said it. At the end of the day, all that was being said by any of them was that fat and lazy are not a disease. I agree that fat and lazy are not diseases. However, someone who may be perceived as fat and lazy can still have a disease.
It has been years of seeing doctors. Many years of falls and numbness. Countless problems moving limbs. Time and time again of going to a variety of doctors and specialist. An unreasonable number of times in the hospital from falls. Still, no trained professional thought to do MRI tests??
For those of you that do not know, my mother has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, more commonly known as MS. Her most recent neurologist says that from the size & quantity of lesions on her spine & brain stem, she has most likely has had this disease for 10+ years. That is a long time to not diagnose a pretty well-known disease. Especially for someone who is constantly complaining of and showing the symptoms of this disease.
Just an Opinion
I do understand that diagnosing diseases is an art and not much more than just an opinion. Undoubtedly, there is no handbook. But as I read the list MS symptoms, my mother checks the majority of those boxes. How do I see this as a layman and the professionals miss this? Even though diagnosing illness is an art, the doctors can be bias of factors other than what the patient is complaining of. I believe these biases have clouded the judgment of my mother’s doctors and prolonged her proper diagnosis causing irreversible damage.
My mother is very overweight. She has been for most of her life. I do not recall her ever being thin or even of average weight. In fact, I cannot recall seeing any pictures of her at any stage of her life being thin or even of average weight. In addition to her weight, she has never been very active. My mother has always spent her free time on the couch with a comforting snack.
Several doctors, in a multitude of specialties, all pretty much say the same thing. They all, in their own polite way, tell her that fat and lazy is not a disease. They all recommend that she lose weight and exercise. This was the medical advice of all of the doctors who claim that there was nothing physically wrong wither her other than her weight. Despite the complaints of numbness and lack of control of limbs, not a one, for over 10 years suggest getting an MRI.
Damaged Beyond Repair
Since it has taken over a decade to properly diagnose my mother’s MS, my mother is now damaged beyond repair. There is no cure for MS. Her lesions have grown and spread to the point that there is little hope for mobility improvement. At her advanced stage, there are few medications that are effective. The meds that are out there come at a very high cost both financially and in the sense of horrific side effects.
In addition to my mother’s physical damage, there is also the mental damage. If there was ever a time in her life to dig deep and fight, this is that time. But unfortunately, she seems to have just given up. She feels beaten and hopeless. Her quality of life and expected future conditions are not something she feels are worth fighting for. I am constantly telling her that the doctors were wrong for so many years, they can be wrong now about what her future holds. She says she knows and is fighting, but her actions do not match her words.
Anger
The initial shock has passed. Anger should be sinking in. My mother doesn’t seem to have any anger about any of this. My father is angry. I am angry. This should not have gone this long without being discovered. She should not have been judged by her appearance. Instead, she should have had her symptoms listened to. She should have been given the time to have a fighting chance.
My hope is that she needs more time to come to terms with things. I am hoping that I just have gotten to the angry stage before her. I am looking at this from the outside in. As much as I try to understand what she is going through, I cannot. All I can do is hope that she can move past what seems to be the beginnings of depression and fight for her best quality of life.
Crazy Babble or Just My Voice of Reason??
I have been told on many occasions that I create the worst of people in my mind. Am I doing this with the doctors? I do not think that I am. I really do feel that if she were a younger, thinner person, the doctors would have run the proper tests. Numbness usually is nerve related. I am clearly not a doctor, but why would an MRI not be on the top of the list to look for nerve problems?
Am I just babbling all crazy again or is this a reasonable question? I feel that it is already unfair enough to have MS in the first place, not diagnosing it for over a decade is just cruel. Let me bring this to an end before I go off on another one of my angry tangents. As usual, please let me know if this is crazy babble or just my voice of reason. I am also looking for any personal experience or useful insight, as it would be greatly appreciated. And of course, don’t forget to check out December’s Worst on the First!